Well, I had planned to post my weekend via blurry cell phone pictures, but today's events must be talked about, if only so I can get it out of my system. Oh, and before you're disappointed, this isn't nearly as dramatic as I'm making it sound, just one mildly traumatic parenting moment that led me to think about two other things. Hey, how's that for taking the long way around?
Okay, this afternoon Bub and I had lunch with a friend of mine and her son, who is Bub's "friend." Aside #1: Is it silly to say that one year old's have friends?
There is an outdoor fountain, that in warmer months I'm happy to let him soak himself in, but in the winter is an exercise in toddler restraint. Even though it's spring and it's southern California, it's still too cold to be drenched. Anyway, he runs around the outside of this fountain while I hover nervously and hiss Slow down! There's also a ledge that he knows he's not allowed to climb on. It's only a foot or so off the ground, but it's cement, as is the ground.
Incident #1: He climbs on the ledge after resisting for a loooong time. As I headed over to get him down, he tumbles off and hits his head. He doesn't land on his head fortunately, but there are tears.
As we are getting ready to leave, he heads back over to the fountain. I'm certain he's held back as much as a twenty-one month old is capable of and I follow closely behind to make sure I'm not taking home a shivering, soaking wet kid. There's another mom standing by the fountain and she comments on how well my friend's kid sits in time out. (Not sure what happened, but she sat him on a chair and walked away.) I laugh and tell her that Bub would NEVER sit like that unless I physically hold him down. She says her daughter is the same way and that so many people just tell her she's doing it wrong. She then rolls her eyes and says that it's just a personality thing and I am SO glad to hear this because time out just doesn't work for us. Anyway...
Incident #2: A small cluster of birds catch Bub's eye and he takes off away from me. There's a small step that he seemed to have mastered earlier, but this time, not so much. He misses the step and falls. Face first. I see it happen from behind and know he has smacked his face on the ground. This time there are screams, tears and lots of blood. I've no sooner scooped him up than nice fountain mommy has returned with a bag of ice from Starbucks. Aside #2 Nice strangers tug at my heart in a way I can't completely describe. I'll remember this for a long time.
Ultimately, he's fine. He has a bit of a fat lip, but all of his teeth are intact and he is napping peacefully right now.
If you've made it this far, I've got some questions. Ha! You thought the reading was the hard part.
When things like this happen, I relive the moment over and over in my head. It gets worse every time and feels like I'm being punched in the stomach each time. I can't stop it. Do you do this?
Secondly, nice fountain mommy. I can't help but think that it would be nice to know her. If you're reading this nice mommy, I'm not crazy, just a big fan of non-judgmental mothers. I know people who make friends at the park, coming away with phone numbers and email addresses. This would be stepping way outside of myself. The fear of rejection is just too high. What is she's the kind of person who's nice to everyone? Would you have said something? What would you say? Would you be put off by someone who says Let's get our kids together at a less dangerous location some time?
I'm dying to hear what you have to say.
Well after having Owen fracture his femur and split his forehead open I can honestly say I know how you feel. We went down a slide at the park on Sat and he tried to stop himself and twisted his ankle around in a horrible way - I have been replaying in my head since - but i know there is very little i could have done to stop it except wrap him in bubble wrap until he graduates from high school
ReplyDeleteHope you and fountain mommy make a connection. I have met people who I immediately felt a tug at the heart strings and know just what you mean.
ReplyDeleteMy son led with his head and always looked like a prize fighter until he was three. He's 14 now. Life goes on. Be gentle with yourself. And pad his world where you can. We had to wrap our swing supports in padding because he purposely ran his head into them. Go figure. Just that kind of kid. I just wanted to be sure he'd make it this far with his brain, such as it is, intact.
Mission accomplished. Yours will be, too. :)
Poor guy. One I know the kid's teeth are okay, I'm usually able to let it go. The first few times I saw blood come out of my child were really tough though. Some things, like the time Quinn fell down the stairs, I do run over it in my head.
ReplyDeleteI think it's totally cool to befriend another mom somewhere. Maybe say something like, "Our kids seem to be getting along really well. Maybe we could get them together at XYZ park sometime."
I'm not brave enough to do stuff like that though. :)
Thanks for your comments. I am hoping to fold the laundry today...we'll see!
ReplyDeleteYou are definitely not the only one who replays things like the fountain incident in your mind. I do it too. After something like that happens, I lay in bed that night and can't get to sleep because it keeps replaying. I hate that!!