To sleep

Sleep has left the building.

I'm pretty sure this is what happens when you smile down at your sleeping newborn, thinking that you're just so lucky that she's such an easy baby and a good sleeper, too!

Or, maybe it's just a growth spurt. Also, I made the mistake of drinking a caffeinated soda on Friday night (it was an Orange Crush at the OC Blogger Ball. I HAD to!) I wasn't really thinking straight at the time. I do have a faint memory of giddily enjoying a frappucino while baby Bub snoozed in the stroller and I shopped, followed by a nap drought lasting four days. Google tells me that caffeine stays in a baby's system for up to 96 hours. However, I'm also reading that only 1% of caffeine ingested passes through the breastmilk, so that doesn't seem like an awful lot. Regardless, the 96 hour mark is tonight and I'm hoping tomorrow is a better day.

Last night was the worst night so far. The hours between 11:30, when I went to bed for the first time, and 3:45, when I went to bed for real, are pretty much a blur. I have no recollection of the order in which things happened, but I do know that the baby was fed, swaddled*, and repacifier-ed multiple times. I remember climbing into bed and thinking that I never truly appreciated how comfortable and lovely this bed is. I remember Bub waking up more than once, or maybe just once and never going back to sleep after I went to him the first time. I remember my husband taking pity on me at one point when he realized that I hadn't yet been to sleep, and taking over with Bub, who we think may have had a bad dream.

I did manage to get just under three hours of sleep, during which I had a nightmare of my own, involving someone in my house who had cut the electricity, waking up for good as my husband left at six-ish this morning.

So. I'm left hoping that is temporary and also wondering if she is in fact hungry when she wakes up, or waking for another reason. At three months, I still can't tell much of a difference in her cries. Mostly, I just guess what she wants based on how long it's been since she was last fed, or napped or changed. We'll see how far this system gets me.

*I would also like to go on record as officially hating swaddling. I've been using the SwaddleMe with much success, until recently. Now, when her little hands are escaping before I've even finished swaddling, my blood pressure rises and I have to leave the room for a minute.

If you're pregnant, BUY A MIRACLE BLANKET. I caved today and bought one, finally. I don't know why I wasn't using one from the beginning. I swore I would get one this time around, but I didn't. It may be a little late, but she still desperately needs to be swaddled to get any sort of quality sleep. Yes, they're pricey-ish, but you can not put a price on sleep. Trust me.