Nervous Energy

On Saturday we went to a graduation party. The backyard was mostly pool, and what wasn’t pool was just tables filled with family lounging in the shade. Sounds nice, yes? Naturally, Bubette just wanted to run around and climb the stairs surrounding the pool. I ping ponged between both of my kids, because even though there were other adults around to watch them, nothing sends my hyper-vigilant mom senses into overdrive like a crowded party and an ungated body of water.
On Sunday we spent time in a house on Newport Harbor*. I mean literally on the harbor. The water comes directly up to the house and the only thing separating the patio from the water is a row of planter boxes maybe 18 inches high. That’s being generous. They were probably only a foot high. They might as well have had signs on them saying “Play Too Closely!” “Trip and Fall Near Me!” “DOOM.”
My kids were on overdrive and when that happens I always want to find a reason why, when the reason is probably just that they’re two and five and sometimes act like they’ve been both drugged and highly caffeinated for no reason. At one point Bubette seemed to make it her mission to hurl herself into the (hot) barbeque. I kept wondering why no one was just CLOSING THE DOOR to keep the kids inside. Then I realized that I’m an adult who’s allowed to make decisions for myself, so I closed the door, and squeezed my eyes shut and hoped for the day to be over quickly. Then I grabbed a pile of books trying (in vain) to keep the kids motionless for a few moments and both kids bounced next to me until one of them fell straight off of the couch without any obvious cause.
During dinner, Bub thwarted any attempts at conversation that weren’t about him, and Bubette called for “froop! mo’ froop!” while I sliced strawberries and watermelon, and I heard my (childless) brother mutter, “I thought I was tired.”
Fortunately, Bub fell asleep in the car, and even though it was only 6:10 when we got home, I put him straight to bed. He’s going to wake up at 5:45am no matter what time we put him to bed, so why not capitalize on his exhaustion, right?
We leave on vacation – without children – soon, and I’ve started to panic. We’ve not left both of them for more than a weekend, although we have left Bub for a full week, twice. Now that I think about that, both times we’ve split the babysitting between my parents and my in-laws. This time, my parents are taking on 100% of the care of both kids for a solid week. And there are two of them now, in case anyone has lost count. They’ll be fine, I’m sure. I know my parents are just as solidly invested in keeping my kids alive as I am, and yet I am positively losing my  mind over here.  I would really like to go back in time a week, where my biggest vacation worries were which maxi dress to pack, and musings on sunless tanners. (Why do they all STINK so badly?)
*First world proooooblems.