Remember that scene in The Break Up where Jennifer Aniston’s character wants Vince Vaughn’s character to want to do the dishes. Imagine that scene several years down the line, plus my sleep-deprived addled brain, and you have the following.
Scene: Sometime at night. It could be twenty minutes after you’ve fallen into a deep sleep, or a half hour before your alarm goes off. NOBODY KNOWS. The baby monitor springs to life with the wailings of a two year old who has decided that sleeping through the night is for, well, babies. She must have overheard you talking about a third baby. She doesn’t know that you were KIDDING. She just knows that she’s awake, and she’s pissed, and she’s not going back to sleep until you get into her room and rock her. For a while.
Husband: Do you want me to go get her?
Wife: (Do I want you to go get her? Of course I WANT you to go get her. But I don’t want it to be MY idea. I just want you to get up and get her. I don’t want to TELL you to go get her. I don’t want you to give me the opportunity to be the hero AGAIN. We both know how that ends. You’re going to be awake anyway, because I’ll sigh loudly when I get out of bed, and make sure to make just enough noise to ensure that you’re HEARING all of this getting up that I’m doing.)
Wife: (out loud) No, I’ll go.
EXACTLY
ReplyDeleteNailed it.
ReplyDeleteThis is the scene, word for word, in our house when either kid wakes up in the middle of the night. Somehow, it's always ME that gets out of bed thanks to my husband kicking my feet to wake me.
ReplyDeleteWell *my* husband's M.O. is to pretend to sleep through her crying. This is why I'm glad that he's closer to the door, so if Bub gets out of bed he goes to his side first.
DeleteThe ONE upside to being hearing impaired is that it's really hard to sleep with a hearing aid in. Even when I try it, I take it out in my sleep and then I have a hard time finding it. My hubby is almost always the one to get up with our 2 year old (which happens almost every night). It's all well and good but it just makes me feel guilty that he does it and has to get up and go to work in the morning and when I do get up with her, she wants daddy since that's what she is used to:(
ReplyDeleteOh there's no winning here. When I get up, I'm annoyed, and when he does I feel bad. Damned if you do...
DeleteUm, yes.
ReplyDeleteMy people, my people! I have found my people!
ReplyDeleteAt least he asked if you wanted him to go. My husband NEVER would.
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how many times my husband has asked me a similar question and I always respond, "Oh no, that decision isn't on me. You're a grown up - time to make a grown-up decision!" Sigh.
ReplyDeleteOooooh, smart.
DeleteI like how my husband is an insomniac except when there's a wailing baby. IT'S ALL VERY SUSPECT. I kid (sort of), but he definitely has more patience than I when it comes to a yelling baby in the middle of the night. I'm of the "rush in there and see what the problem is" sort of person, whereas he's more "wait it out and see if she goes back to sleep." I should just pretend to be sleeping, though, I think, when I hear a crying kid.
ReplyDeleteThis, exactly.
ReplyDeleteYES. It is totally one of my pet peeves when Justin asks, because kills any chance that I can get back to sleep in the event that he actually would be the one doing the getting up thing.
ReplyDeleteI'm like a week late on this but... YES YES YES.
ReplyDeleteYEP. HECK TO THE YEP. Although I say "YES OF COURSE I DO. GO GET HER." The end.
ReplyDelete